ex still wants to be friends reddit

If the relationship ends amicably, staying close with the person can make it hard to move on. This could either be to keep tabs on his ex or because he doesn't believe their relationship is truly over. I dont think its conducive to your future relationships (unless of course you plan to remain single after this breakup) to maintain links with a previous intimate relationship - and by intimate I mean both physical and emotional. Just because your ex doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you, doesn't mean they don't care. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I had to get a restraining order on him. If an ex is still in the picture he gives her these 3 needs… 1-He is the key to security. If he still thinks he may still end up with her, he may still view her family as his future family and thus, it makes sense for him to stay connected to his future in-laws. When assessing whether to be friends with a toxic ex or give them a second chance, remember that true friends do not maliciously harm, exploit or use you. Not only would that make me worry about the security of my relationship, but I’d also feel bad for her. On the one hand, you’re relishing the fact that you’re still on this person’s mind. How frequently to you meet? I can’t say that I sway one way over the other with this issue. Similarly, your ex might be contacting your friends as well, to know about your well-being. Trying to be friends I mean. This opinion might not be popular or seen as particularly mature but I don't want to extend the hurt feelings of the breakup and the best way in my opinion to get over this person is to not do this. There seems to be a very big misconception out there by how human beings operate. It is very easy to slide back into those feelings until they're gone, and no matter how mutual your break up, being friends with an open wound will lead to feelings, resentment, jealousy, and all around misery. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. I don't think it's impossible to be friends, but it takes time and some work, depending on the relationship. You’re Friends And He Doesn’t Want To Lose You. When your ex just wants to be friends, it is not necessary a bad thing. I think it's perfectly possible. Sussman says exes who have kids together should try to remain on good terms if possible, since they’ll be in each other’s lives for the long run. We were friends immediately. I absolutely agree with this. It does seem like a lot of people are saying to cut it off for a while of you do want to try remaining cordial. I'll be around if you want to, too." If he doesn’t make her fall in love from the start, she will be comfortable with just being friends. In your case, I would step back for awhile. Security. Your ex is mean to you (and/or angry at you) most of the time. then no, probably not. Most of the time, it has worked out all right. I don’t want to become just another girl on a long list of women he’s loved. Ummmm shitty. 9. There is no good reason for your ex to pressure you into being a friend. I wouldn't have gotten over him otherwise. not well. it should be more of a door left open - "I'd still like to be friends. I'm friendly with practically everyone I've dated (and divorced). Overall, the benefits of remaining friends with your ex should constantly outweigh the negatives. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. Cookies help us deliver our Services. It also depends on the relationship itself. So, what golden rule should you remember? Apparently we got back together for a monthish after we broke up, don't remember that at all. This goes double if you had a … Long term boyfriend who cheated on you, left you pregnant, and tries to steal money from you at every turn? It's less of an obligation/pressure and more of a gentle offer. Posting here and not on r/relationships because I want to know how you ladies of reddit feel about this. The thing I appreciate most about my most recent ex was that he was strong enough to say he wasn't ready to be friends when we broke up. Contents. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Like, if I think you're adding value to my life I'll keep you around but if you're not then I'm not going to stay friends just because we dated. I have never wanted to remain friends with any of my exes. That means no seeing each other, calling/texting/Facebooking each other, nothing. 7 years is long time so maybe longer than a few months but time will definitely help. Remaining friends directly out of the breakup has the potential to just hurt you all over again when they date someone else or try to move on themselves. Uff, sounds like a tough time you had. If you try and find that it’s hurting your heart to be around them, there is … When your ex wants to be friends with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants more than just friendship with you. It's doable. 1.1 1. After a breakup, if it wasn't on awful terms why waste all that time knowing someone so well if there are some qualities of a friendship? However, I will just do the fade away. The reason for that is because people hate being perceived as “bad people”, and instead wish to feel redeemed for their sins (especially when something goes wrong). I'm friendly with all of my ex gfs, but with all of them it took time. I feel like having 7 years in...you have a good chance at maintaining a friendship with her. The first couple of years were rough, and quite an adjustment period, but we've been friends for over a decade now so I'd say it's a success. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. Yeah. Their cut-throat dedication to doing anything to boost their own profile means you’re still counted as a ‘friend’ if you are useful in this. After 7 months we should have both continued with our lives. I don't feel a generalized need to be friends with people I've dated after the fact. I know I was friends with that first ex for months until she got a bf and it was like a dagger to the heart (then didn't talk for about 4 years). That lasted a whole couple of weeks. More and more, being with him is looking way better than being without him. I realize that each of us will have sexual partners and be eventualy in another relationship. However, even if it was mutual, you can't try and force being friends, and you can't try right away. On the other, you’re frustrated because you don’t want this communication to derail the important progress you’ve made in moving on. The latest, despite living 1000 miles apart now, there is still some mutual feelings there despite it being quite a while that we often go a few months without talking. Give yourself time alone and work on the friendship a little later down the road or as something very low on your to do list, so to speak. If they're genuinely concerned about you, of course they will ask mutual friends … . It really depends on the circumstances of your break up. If you want to be friends with an ex, this is another area where you’ll need to consciously work to reconsider your habits. It's really pleasant because we work together. Some can do it, some can’t. It'll stop you from getting over it. Hope you're doing well now and glad that you kept her as a friend! Another I lost touch with after high school (dated for 3 years) but now 8 years later we talk without any weirdness. So the “family time” is fake cover for one partner hoping for reconciliation in my opinion. It's less of an obligation/pressure and more of a gentle offer. You can TOTALLY be friends with your ex! A couple past girls and I tried to be fuck buddies after a break up. If she compares you to her brother, relatives, or friends, it’s clear she does not like you. Sorry that you had to get a restraining order, in addition to the break up it seems really tough. Relationships aren’t built on apathy. At some point in his life he loved her, and at this point he loves me. There's also an important difference between having a friend ship and being friend ly. An exception might be if the couple breaks up easily and mutually. after a few years, i've become friends with most of mine. ended in me breaking her heart. He had the idea that maybe I will change my mind and as a result...things got creepy and weird quickly. The comfortable companionship. Huge red flag that his ex wife refused to acknowledge me and turned their daughter against me as well. But if you two are to be friends, it won't be right away, it takes time, you can't force it, and you have to recognize and be sensitive to both your feelings and theirs. But I say this as someone who until my current relationship...never been with someone for even a year. He said he still wants to be friends. We talked regularly for a bit shortly after we broke up. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. How long were you two together? The fact that your boyfriend still wants to be friends means he still wants you in his life. If it was a completely one-sided breakup, I would probably have a problem with being friends. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. When you want your ex back, you’re going to need a platform for communication. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. I never fully get over my exes. They're beautiful while your on it, but when you mess up everything comes crashing down. I think people can be friends after breaking up, but there needs to be a clean break period first. Sort of like a "Break glass in case of emergency" type of … Agreed, I think (at least for me personally) trying to be friends too soon just brings back the good parts of the relationship and I might end up bringing back feelings for them and not being able to deal as well with breaking up. I don't think there's anything inherently noble or positive about trying to work out a friendship with an ex and I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it either. Sometimes, our ex-husband wants to be friends so he can still … I have exes who I’m still friends with and exes I’m most certainly not friends with. 7 Reasons Being Friends with Your Ex Doesn’t Work: Most of the time, a post-breakup friendship is a setup for further heartbreak, especially for the person who was left and probably feels rejected. After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. If it's a mutual breakup and you're on good terms, I don't see a problem with being friends. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Whether it was for his benefit, mine, or he just wasn't interested, I don't know, but it was the right decision. Yeah, I assume both parts must be ok that the relationship ended and know that there's likely no chance for a come back. It can be tricky, trying to navigate a new romantic relationship that has grown out of a friendship, but it’s entirely do-able. If he's still in touch with her family, it is because he wants to be. I don't want to get hung up on anything that might be left behind after the relationship is done. If there is nothing serious going on, you’re the one your ex still wants. my ex and I are still texting 3 months since our affair ended and shes trying again with the ex she broke up with to start our thing. You would tell your friends if their ex missed them, so they'll do the same for you. That’s just my personal opinion. The best thing for both of them to do is to move on without each other. References Carnell, S. (2012, May 14). They are already in a new (rebound) relationship. If you’re the one that initiated the breakup, then staying friends can be courting trouble. Falling for your ex’s mind games only gives your ex a heightened sense of superiority and a license to do it again, and again. If you play your cards right, it is possible to make him fall in love with you again. My ex wants to be friends after he dumped me — He breaks up with you but wants to be friends. When your ex girlfriend mentions that she still wants to be friends, you will be tempted to follow the following common strategy: “Ok I’ll be her friend and stay on her friend zone for a while, and I’ll slowly make my way back and re-attract her again!” Sound familiar? If we end it on a good, mutual note, sure. And for people who aren’t just trying to cushion the blow while their ex is weeping in front of them, it can be really tough to say “no” to an ex who reaches out in a friendly way. The main thing though is it takes time, especially if the relationship was long term. In my opinion, guys want to remain friends to keep the door open in case she needs ANY type of assistance. After all, he has loved you in the past. It always helps to wait till both you and her are in different relationships and are happy with the person that they are, A few year seems like a long time, I'm currently thinking of at least 1 month for every year relationship. She even organised my last birthday party. Overall, the benefits of remaining friends with your ex should constantly outweigh the negatives. Luckily I moved away for college so I didn't end up having to deal with it much after. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. 2-She is intimately connected and that’s a natural human intrinsic need. Here are seven things to do if your ex wants to stay friends and you don't, according to experts. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. They’re built on a series of constant choices. Ex … Sometimes I've just felt like I've grown beyond the person or that they really are such a negative influence that I want them gone and then sometimes I'm apathetic and then sometimes I wish to hold onto some sort of presence. I would want to remain friends, or at least on good terms, with an ex so long as the break up wasn't nasty. Recently my BF of a year broke up with me. Being friends with your ex is a topic that has been discussed too many times by now. Sometimes it’s great when an ex wants to be friends, but mostly it’s not. Many life-long soulmates started out as close friends, but many friendships have also been ended by attempts to make it … I personally need time to be upset, then angry for a long time, then neutral, then awkward hangouts, then friends! He still wants to be friends and tries to make time for you. Being her “friend” is essentially allowing her to sit on the fence. After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. Most of the time when an ex says he still wants to be friends, he's really saying that he’s not ready to cope with the loss. Until than we should have both continued with our lives and should be ready to try to work on a relationship. That's the thing, I don't really want to forget about her. Those friends all seem pleasant around you. If your ex boyfriend/girlfriend wants to be friends, it also means that she/he is confused and wants to keep all the options open. I know this makes sense to organize your feelings and move on. I can't imagine having her not in my life. He wants me to meet her but every time i … Your friends may drop a hint that your ex still talks about you. If you start to feel jealous or hurt in some way...don't be afraid to take time for yourself to heal first. And it's been no contact since then, which is a better choice I think. I always prefer to be on good terms at the very least, but my willingness to be friends depends on the nature of our breakup. But they were bad to me in the relationship. I'm friends with one of my exes, we're on great terms. By now, it’s not a question of whether you should or shouldn’t be—the question is whether your ex really wants to be just a … But when she tells you blankly that she just wants to be your friends, she is not interested in you. If your ex still cares for you, then s/he would be dying to see you again if given a chance. I realize that each of us will have sexual partners and be eventualy in another relationship. As you can see, when an ex wants to be friends it is rarely a good idea. Even if he would never admit it, our ex-husband probably misses the good things about the marriage he gave up. I wasn't okay with my exes until Atleast 4 months post breakup and now we're really good friends and still hang out. The ill-fated “lets be friends” cliche is still alive and well. Having friends who are women is fine because they’re just friends. Video Summary. Being friends with an ex you still love is a contentious subject. Your Ex Wants Sex With No Strings; 1.4 4. This is especially true if you still love your ex-girlfriend and she wants to be friends. Well I’m here to tell you that it’s the WRONG way to go about it. If your ex wants to have sex with you, it can be a good sign because it shows that he is still attracted to you on some level. A bit of me still has a soft spot for them. I barely remember the break up though (horrible accident did some damage to my brain). How did it work out with you? 3. That sounds like the most reasonable thing to do and I was thinking about it already. 1 Why Your Ex Wants To Be Friends. It comes down to the specific relationship. If your friends ever tell you that your ex asked your relationship status, it's a major sign that he or she misses you. If we break up due to betrayal, inability to get along, etc. It does not give you or your ex time to grieve the loss of the relationship or marriage. Rather, they'll be happy, and might even wish you well. Sure. 8. For all three I've tried that with. When to stay friends with an ex. Also, there are certain scenarios where it is possible to have a friendship post-love affair: Say you pretty much grew up together—and then sort-of outgrew each other. It will not work of you don't both take some time apart. If your ex just wants to be friends, they won't bat an eye when you mention all the Tinder dates you've gone on recently. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who makes me miserable.

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