funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Well, now I know? This says "I'm doing well.". Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. Because our societys patterns absolutely will not let anyone think it could be possible that what I, for example, would be doing with that time is letting my brain process the mathematics that will lead to an invention that most of us will never hear about, but it will make all of our lives better. What are you up to on Saturday? has often been my go-to when dealing with someone (like my sister) that I *know* will feel pressured to accept whatever Im suggesting whether or not she wants to or has the time/energy for it. I dont understand the point of the question. It took a LOOOOONNNNGGG time to train them out of, What are you doing this weekend? It was glorious. TootsNYC, thanks for responding and considering what is said. 2. Its the best. To pretend that it wont have a cost societally. (A couple of these people suuuucked like, I thought I was safe with studying until a couple of people started telling me that that was interesting because we were in the same classes and they just ~got the material better~ and didnt need to study at all this week. I read the question; did all of you who are saying its only about the manipulative cases? If someone asks me the question, I am happy, because that means they are probably inviting me somewhere. How are you? What are your plans for the weekend? - Making Sense of English Making conversions . A little of this, a little of that. Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? Youve made such a long-term investment in your child already why put the future relationship at such risk? I also (insert similar hobby or interest). Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. Want to go to the turnip festival with me or are you busy? Well, Im not busy but I also dont want to go to any turnip festival ever. Its great that you can come!. Which brings me right back to not understanding why parents do this to themselves and their children. And I have to say, my, Toss her out and let her adult, is in flat contradiction to my frequent assertion that successful launching has been economically tough for young adults for some time now. If they want to tell you about their kids, they can. I wanted to stayyou can make why do you ask? be a friendly lineand you probably should. If the answer is miserable but I dont want to get into it right now, fine-thanks still works. Im a big fan of being super clear: That depends, are you asking me out? Im looking forward to some down time. 1, It feels rude not to ask back. This business of hanging on to parental authority as a form of rent, however, has already damaged your relationship, from what youre saying. This is OT, but if someone would like to explain how its supposed to work in the US, Id appreciate it. What Are You Doing This Weekend? - The Return of the Modern Philosopher Yes, people use this question for all kinds of reasons, as LW said. And then when you part somebody accidentally says love you, too. Thats how it always happens for me, anyway. Thats a way it can work, certainly, but why is it magically guess the exact time theyre free and what they want to do with no input if the person who first said lets hang out is then suggesting a time or activity, but something other than magically guessing if the person who first said lets hang out and is told yeah, we should is the one saying Saturdays are good for me, how about you? or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther? But its all about context, and thats not the context the LW is talking about. I need you to babysit. Those things influence what I ask of my kid, and they influence how I ask it. Agreed I dont think that the question signals the other person should do all the planning, i think its a way to judge how willing and able they are to hang out sometime in the immediate future. DP: No free time at ALL? 3. In my experience, soft invitations are never meant. If a stranger or acquaintance says, How are you? its mostly just meant as a greeting, and you greet them back by saying, Im good, thanks or Doing alright or Oh fine, and you? Just some standard vague but positive-sounding reply. I also answer yeah, that would be great and then never hear from them again. It doesnt actually mean how are you? in the same way that goodbye does not actually mean God be with you. What it means is, I acknowledge you, fellow human being. In some ways, its helpful to think of it not as a phrase but as a pair of words: how-are-you, fine-thanks-and-you. or are you busy?). good response to "What are you up to tonight?" - reddit I hate ditherers with the passion of a thousand suns. Like now? Thanks for the invite though!. My go-to refusal of any invitation is I have other plans, and nobody needs to know whether my other plans are a work thing I cant get out of or a fun evening out or painting my toenails in front of Netflix. And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. Im sure its benignly intended but its intrusive. People use it for all sorts of reasons. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. (Full disclosure: Whole in-law family are control freaks and this type of thing IS a setup with them. We all walk the kids to school together and she started calling in at our house every. If anyone else runs into this, Im not free on Saturday, so Ill see you some other time! is a perfectly polite and respectful response. It can be so hard to set boundaries with the inlaws! For grocery store cashiers, I keep the answer short: Wet, on a rainy day, or Need more coffee this one particularly for coffee shop baristas, who probably hear it too often. But then again, Im always the person who answers strangers who say Are you X person with Who wants to know?. You absolutely can. LW has a LOT of reason to be bugged by this approach to seeking a date it carries a hefty implied threat because of what abusive men in our society have built it into en masse. I think LW is unable to separate people doing something that they personally find annoying, and people intentionally trying to annoy them. I definitely would never say this to in-law oversteppers. On Thursday or Friday, its got any plans for the weekend? and on Monday, its do anything fun this weekend? I dont think theyre trying to find it my deep personal secrets, its on the same level as hows it going? or wow, traffic was awful this morning, huh? and I answer at that same level (oh, this and that, how bout you?). I really wish I had some better scripts to deal with this stuff how do I limit our contact with her to a level where the kids and I are still happy to see her, without pissing her off? If you both talk about what to do in the garden (I know you probably dont own one, its an example), is it a conversation like I want to plant radishes Well, I want to plant flowers Fine, then we plant one half with flowers of your choice and one half with radishes and everyone waters everything? And genuinely interested in what theyre doing! There are several possible moves in response to this gambit. Darn, my wife wants me home early [so we can watch Netflix on the couch with our cat].. Makes sense. They need to stop it. This is about the blandest, most banal small talk question I can think of.). Indeed, I often hear it as an attempt to trap me into doing something. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. It gives you a window into each others lives and invites you to share something about yourself. For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. And when I say angling, it might not be in a cornering way. Even when its not meant as a hostile act (merely as an exoticising one thats so cool/I used to want to travel there/is it true that people there do x) being othered never feels welcoming. 80 Witty & Creative Response to "How Are You?" - My Clever Mind Go For a Run: Once again, running will not require spending any money, only your energies. Funny Response to How Are You There are many fun things we could say and people will think that you're smart and interesting! Youve also brought up some generational preferences on communications. Mother likes to trap me. The people who are asking what are you doing this weekend? before making a request are taking away the LWs easy out that is, by getting LW to admit that he/she/they are free, the option to refuse with Oh, sorry, I have plans already is no longer there. "Hope you are doing well" is actually a pretty common opening line when people write emails. Person A: Im fine. Nothing much? and Im like yup! You dont need to read their minds as to what they mean, suss out what they mean next, or throw up defenses against prying nosiness; most of the time, it will not be necessary. Obviously Im talking here about people Im friendly with, not friend-friends, but I cant imagine having got to the stage of being friends with someone who was inclined to rebuff me expressing interest in their life. What to Reply to "Hey"? 19 Effective Text Responses - Trending Us So, now give me my money back. If you have a faaaaaaaamlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy culture where not providing free labor on demand for family makes you the jerk, lean in to it and accept the mantle of jerk; this frees you from ever needing to try to avoid that label in the future. In fact this letter reminds me a lot of a lady I knew once who moved to the US from a different english-speaking country and took offense to people asking her where she was from when they heard her accent. Yeah, I get that it is a soft invitation, but it also feels that the hard invitation has been tossed into my lap. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 We also told our children when they were growing up that they could use us as an excuse any time they felt pressured or uncomfortable saying no for themselves. 11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses - VIDA Select And then if its something I dont want to do BUT its a person I dont want to discourage, I can say, That sounds like youll have fun! I love you. Absolutely, this too. 3. This is my first time commenting because so much of this rang true. TootsNYC, why do you feel entitled to some of her time because shes a member of your family? This is such a common question, and I have a memory like a sieve, and once or twice replied Nothing much and accepted invitations which ended up double booking myself. More detailed/truthful responses are typically only shared with close friends or family. What are you up to? Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). I know theyre just trying to be friendly but it gets exhausting that starting Wednesday I have to deal with so what are you up to this weekend and then AGAIN on Monday what did you do this weekend? (So I guess Tuesday is the only day safe from that question, ha. She looks so comfortable. Oh, the usual, you? I hope this email finds you well. There were SO many helpful suggestions in here. The lines of dominance and power are what make this a problem. Here's a more thorough list of things Siri manages to do well most of the time: Making a call / Facetime. If someone challenges me on something, my default response is to assume the other person is right and I am wrong. So I know what youre talking about. But it puts me on edge every time I hear it. From the sound of it, this is a dynamic already in place where LW faces various sorts of family opprobrium if LW turns down the cousin, and this is what LW is reacting to. Best of luck to you, dear LW! The cousin wanting a servant. After answering you always ask the other person in return how they are, and they respond in kind. N- New adventure. Unless your friends are kind of jerks they wont interrogate you about your exact schedule. Is this just aimless small-talk? In the case of friends and dates, I feel like sometimes its a slightly manipulative way of getting me to do the actual asking / planning. Sometimes I feel like this is just another Hi, how are you? kind of question that can be sort of skipped over. What a mess. If I have no specific plans, she thinks my time is hers (but you said you were doing nothing! and she likes to be like cousin in example 3, re her children doing lots of stuff for her because thats what good kids are supposed to do (and if were not performing like good kids, then shes a bad mother ~guilt guilt~) and she doesnt like to ask directly* so it often comes across as manipulative or passive-aggressive). Rock the anger, LW. I actually have an answer for this one. We should definetely try to avoid stealth scheduling questions. Seriously, both she and my sister are true extroverts, bless them, which is why I use the term hyper-social weirdos to describe them. There are also times my kid can ask for help, and *I* dont get to say, eh, no, Id rather read a book. Not if I want to consider myself her family. But I have made a major effort to train myself to STATE WHAT I WANT first. The only exceptions are: 1. All five are initial questions, appropriate for a relatively fast . Depending on the purpose of the encounter, that might mark the end of the interaction or serve as an agreed-upon signal for one or the other or both parties to end the dance of content-free niceties and get to the point or commence the conducting of shared business. "You know I can do this anytime.". Best Episode | Law & Order: SVU - Best Episode - Facebook Ive noticed that sometimes when coworkers as me what Im doing theyre really just politely trying to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell me all about their exciting weekend plans. Being a grown up with a family, studies and a job, friends and hobbies my life is often busy and so is my friends so we often use this website https://doodle.com/ but then people always know what kind of an event we are trying to schedule. I used to get caught by this question. But I have wondered if I answer with imaginary bf and I have x-plans, if the questions would stop. As a little anecdote my ex-husband and I had just started attending a new ward in his church when a guy our age wed chatted with a few times asked us what we were doing on Halloween. At least once I figured out that they genuinely *didnt* need to know anything about me if they were going to behave that way I could default to oh my god Im so busy! See how thats all about you, and your kids, and not at all about her? I feel like something mundane like chores will get some pushback, or wont be seen as a task that takes up the whole day(s) off (if I do laundry Saturday, I can still go out Sunday! Probably so he can finish the conversation with enjoy [fun thing]. Setting that aside for the moment, its apparently *supposed* to go like this: (Right Now): What are you doing sometimes means at the very present in which activity are you involved in? We were asking about things they like or dont like about America compared to the countries they grew up in. I understand that theyre just trying to be friendly and make small talk but it still feels invasive. Its all back to the lines of dominance and power again. If I say why and she responds with something easily done another time or only sort of appealing, Ill judge it against a nice evening of doing nothing and maybe pass. Anything fun planned? Invitations are not commands. This comment has clarified a thing for me. And in my experience, parents of adult children dont assign their childrens plans (and wishes) the same priority as their own plans (and wishes). So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. I suspect some of the people who are giving a vaguer yeah to the lets hang out have answered what they thought was an actual suggestion with Saturdays are good for me and gotten um, er, Im kind of busy these days, Ill call you and never hearing back. because sometimes we have plans that cant change. 2. So, it's important to read the situation and know how well the person asking you out will respond to a little joke. I would think that if one is up to the point of having to plan food, one would have also issued a direct invitation? But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. But people should take turns is different from someone else should always go first (or for gendered/other status reasons, I should always go first). How should I respond? If not, then they'll just think you're being cheeky, which of course, you are. Weekend gone! Basically, I dont think people are trying to be manipulative and I do think youre overthinking this, OP. You can also better manage your time because you can text her at anytime you want. 110 Weekend Quotes to Wish You a Restful Break - Quote Ambition I BET YOU WILL LAUGH - Funny videos - YouTube The conversation can go like this either way and be appropriate and you not be on the spot either way. If they mean well then they will try to stop when you explain that you prefer to be asked directly. Gah, I still worry though, like Blueberry Pancaaakes said about her sister, what if she cancels plans she needed or would have enjoyed? But I think it tracks beyond that particular experience. Is everyone busy? (Im a lady dating ladies btw, if thats relevant, though I have also dated men before and my experience is definitely colored by some of the emotional labor / potential gender-related danger issues some of the commenters pointed out thats spot on). Setting a timer or alarms. Clearly, I am not giving him the answer he wants, but I dont particularly want to keep having the conversation. 2. Okay, how would that be couched in terms of a lease you would give to another renter? Why is receiving an invite considered such a stressor and its ok not to get back to the person. friend: yooooooooo goodyou So, when they ask what youre doing this weekend and seem likely skip ahead to of course youre going to my potluck and bringing the thing I promised everyone youll bring without actually asking you and/or so you can babysit ALL WEEKEND LONG, be ok with letting them down. its BANK HOLIDAY?. It can often be an explain why youre a POC kind of thing in many countries with white majorities, and seen as a whole (its a super widespread phenomenon) it shows how far away our societies are from truly accepting themselves are diverse. What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". Id like to leave you with a couple of last thoughts to consider: One is that you say she has reacted to, We are going to by hearing a command and responding accordingly. a s h l e y. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. You're not obligated to tell others your plans for the future, if you even have them. Later that evening I find out through facebook that HE went out ice skating, with several of our friends, and he had never even mentioned to me that he was going, let alone asked if I wanted to come too! Theyre private and you dont need to know them. Why, whatve you got? with a tone implying that weekends are always full of important adulting chores that I really dont want to do, but adults gotta adult, you know? I dont spend a lot of time imagining what youre doing over the weekend. !" 6) "Come back here weekend!! How To Answer "What Do You Do For Fun?" (With Examples) !" 1. Every weekend! But Im willing to bet that LW knows that, and the reason he/she feels annoyed with the people asking it in his/her life are because theres a pattern and something bigger at work like maybe people trying to get him/her to do stuff, or, as he/she noted, people who want to hang out, but with him/her doing all the planning work. And it absolutely has a cost, even for him. Here are some fun things to do on weekends: Get Moving 1. (If they meant the invitation) Them : OH! It's nice that they want to know about your plans, but their curiosity can feel more like an interrogation. May suggest reversing the order of operations? For an acquaintance, depends. So yeah, I feel that part too. But thats always what those on the winning side of dominance relationships say. Life is filled with lots of required thing that some folks loathe and others either like or dont care either way. When I tell you Ill be meal planning this weekend thats not an invitation for you to tell me all of your diet ideas and which meals are healthier. What are you doing this weekend? Fine, thanks, and you? So the LWs anger at nosy questions is more than justified. It happens, even, as above, to straight white cis etc. We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. Every time you see Pushy Neighbor, you go into this mode. It's funny I don't even register the question "How are you?" (I've lived equal times on the West and East coasts of the US), but I see a couple of UK commenters upthread and when I lived there I never, ever got used to "You alright?" which, functionally, isn't that different. Its also tripping flags in your head, which is infinitely more important. I agree!! The other day I got into this conversation with a mum I have to say mum colleague rather than mum friend, because her kid is in the same class as my kids and we seem to hang out quite a lot but shes an extreme extrovert and I am really not, and I see more of her than I would really choose to if I had to seek her out. LW was quite clear that the coercive uses of it are the problem that makes LW resentful, which is not at all an extreme response, but a healthy one. I am definitely not math or sciencey, just like my me time, so that wouldnt have occurred to me. Lead with the actual invitation. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. I also agree that this is a loaded question and it also makes me on edge when someone I do not know that well asks it. This way Im letting them know why in the same breath, and giving them a potential out. Especially since they explicitly mention friends, relatives, and people on dating sites. single. Oh my god I have to go to (thing) which is (plaaaaace). Nothing? LW is a better person than I; I would be tempted to say, I desperately need to re-grout the bathroom and weed the garden. Im glad youre no longer friends with that jerk. I usually list a few of the things Im doing and treat it as a conversation starter, i.e., ask them about their weekend. Its a little startling to hear something super serious like life is really dark so that would be a surprise here as well. I don't know, you tell me. Then one day I said to her you know, when you ask me my plans without saying what youre thinking of, it makes me really nervous because it feels like signing a blank cheque, and she said oh no, that wasnt my intention at all, I didnt want to make you feel bad by suggesting things if youre already busy and now if she wants to suggest a thing, she tells me straight off what the thing is. So yeah, I think your Swedish approach is fairly standard for American culture as well. There is a normal-question-asking prosody, where the words get successively higher in pitch. I have a rule of thumb for stuff like this, which is sometimes with a passive aggressive person, I just aggressively pretend they asked me a direct question or made a direct statement, and will respond as though they did. Jana: I'm good. Instead of saying: "I had a cheeky wine in the garden" Say: "I partook in an al fresco wine tasting. I used to preemptively dodge any potential would you like to / can you do X follow-ups by making vague allusions to being busy upfront (PASSIVE), and then Id weakly paw away their insisting that I can/should be able to do it because THEY think I have the time to. I have a colleaguestraight white well-employed middle-class-raised Christian cis man, so about as privileged as you can get in Americawho opts out of a lot of what he considers to be optional social stuff. How much stuff is there? Yes, this. With strangers (e.g., cashiers) and other people you dont know personally well (casual acquaintances, colleagues with whom you are not also friends, etc. While having to put up with gday, mate lacks the structural oppression of whats aimed at POC, it is still annoying. Funny Bumble Answers #3: Rebel Without A Cause This answer is funny because it paints a picture in the woman's mind of a rebel, even in his youth. How are you? With new acquaintances, well often exchange We should hang out/get a drink/whatever sometime!s multiple times over a period of a few weeks or months before one of us says, Hey, Im going to Event on Friday, do you want to come? Its an intermediary step between I just met you and Lets hang out one-on-one at my request..

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